What's Marriage Got To Do With It.
I'm sitting her contemplating my relationship and the question everyone keeps asking me, "How's married life?" My response is always the same, "It's the same." I wonder if people think that once they get married that everything in their relationship gets better. I know for some men they feel like their partner becomes more secure, thus making their relationship better. This could be a valid argument depending on the person. For me, my loyalty, patience and expectations haven't changed. If anything, I decided long before we got married that I want peace in my life and my love. I decided to change the dynamic of our relationship once we became parents. I understood that a friendship had to withstand our feelings and focused on building that.
I'm not saying that we don't have disagreements; but for me more times than not I don't really want to talk about why someone is getting on my nerves when they know very well why. I don't want to sit and discuss why you are being inconsiderate or why you decided not to do something you should have. If you ask me what's wrong I will tell you, either you will fix the problem or you won't. Either way I will get over it, and move on with my day and or life depending on the issue.
The word Marriage is something I see some people using to hold others hostage. Like it's a secret weapon that validates your point or position. We are married should never be the beginning of any point you are making to your partner. The fact that they should respect and honor you regardless of marriage is the real point. I know my husband loves me and he has always loved me, but he loves himself a little more than me. I love myself a little more than him and that is why we work. We both understand each others value, but we understand our own as well. So it's very easy to respect, value, honor and take care of our home. Our family unit is something we both desire and cherish and work hard at keeping intact. I think there is something beautiful about knowing you don't need someone to survive, but understanding that their presence makes it easier for you to do so. Life is just easier with Chea; parenting is easier, every day tasks are easier and living becomes easier.
We made these commitments to one another long before we got legally married. I find it odd that anyone would wait until another mortal tells them they are now a union to actually become one. If you are planning on spending the rest of your life with someone you don't wait until you put on a dress and walk down an aisle to display that behavior. I know some people say you shouldn't give a man your all before he puts a ring on your finger. Well in my experience when you give the right man anything, he knows what to do with it. Perhaps you aren't dating the right man if you have to withhold anything to get what you want or desire.
What I have learned from my previous 8 year relationship with my ex and my current one with my husband is that it is simply about the man. It's about as logical as growing a garden. If you plant seeds in rotten soil nothing will ever grow. You can't blame the seeds or the sun, it is simply where you decided to plant. Marriage shouldn't make you a better person, the commitment you made to yourself and your partner when you started dating should. Marriage should be an extension of your love if you wish to take that leap. So to all the people who ask me, "How's married life?" It's great, but that's because my relationship was prior to walking down the aisle.