The Importance Of Creating Peace And Letting Go.
I'm officially full term and waiting on baby girl to arrive earth side whenever she feels necessary. I have doctors appointments once a week and everything is pretty much a waiting game at this point. The doctor asked me if I had any special requirements for the delivery and it had me thinking about my entire life.
We often forget to protect our space the way we do everything else. We are often harder on strangers than we are our own friends and family members. Somehow the notion that "the more you allow, the more you love" has manifested itself into our lives. Why is it that we think its okay for people to cross boundaries and hurt us just because they know us. When you think about it, that's sending the message that people that love us should hurt us. Of course it would be easier for someone who loves you to hurt you, because you are more invested in their behavior. Yet that doesn't mean that they have the right to take advantage. If anything the people that love us should be more careful with our feelings, more mindful and concerned. Love is something that should be healing and helpful, not something that comes along with being hurt.
I've noticed over the years that I have accepted negative behaviors from people that are supposed to care about me, simply because we are friends. Saying we are friends has allowed me to keep my guard down and to not be as protective with my space. Friends have special privileges and are allowed more chances than strangers right? They have history with you and more incidents to measure the good with the bad. That way of thinking can also cause you serious pain and stress if you aren't mindful of who you are giving those chances to.
Throughout my wedding and this pregnancy I have realized that my happiness isn't as important as my support to some people. People are far more invested in me when I'm doing something for them verses when it's time for them to actually be there for me. Once I realized my role in certain relationships I realized I needed to protect my space. I'm not okay just being here to serve others, I need to take care of myself. We all need to take care of ourselves, and real love is never about depleting yourself until you have nothing left.
I believe that different stages happen in your life and people that begin to leave during those stages aren't supposed to be apart of the next chapter. Letting go can hurt, and you will have moments when you wish they could be there. However if you allow yourself to go through the natural process of life, and don't force situations; you will find yourself much happier. After my sister passed I learned to let go and move forward with life. Now that I'm having my second child I realize the importance of creating peace in my personal space. Peace is something different for everyone. For me, its being able to have people in my life that I know will celebrate me as much as I celebrate them. I don't have to force the love or respect, it just exist.
As hard as it may be, you have to let go of things that are hurting you. Things that are causing you to become frustrated and feel alone. Things that are creating more heartache than joy. Jobs, family, friends, and situations that don't bring you joy. Life is short, all we have is our time here and we don't get a do over. So be mindful with your space and time, be intentional with your relationships and actions. Love yourself first and stop handing out passes to people just because you've known them for years or they are related to you. If anything, those are the people who should be respecting you the most.